Survivor’s guilt

It was a beautiful cross 
In the middle of an open field 
Littered with mines 
Surrounded by mile high metal thorns 
But there was a cross right in the middle 
With beautiful flowers…in every colour 
My only escape
Or maybe not
I could have leapt out into the field, head first
I didn’t want to lose a miserable limb
I wanted to explode into tiny bits of red, brown and pink
For it to all be over
I chose the cross instead, and he tied me to it with my consent
It wasn’t enough, they wanted me dead
I wanted to be dead too. But he didn’t
He knew I was confused and out of options
 
He knew i needed a haven 
Disillusioned from famine and thirst, the smile on my face more hysterical, less genuine 
Only he knew. 
They shot from every side and ran out 
Some ventured into the field and died by their own mines 
One of them had come really close before his right side was blown away. 
He looked at me and spoke through his bloodied teeth. 
“He loves you”. 

Author: loladeniyi

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