You’ve probably heard this a billion times but I need to say it again- we’re all products of our experiences…this doesn’t even have to mean stuff that has happened to you, it may be stuff you’ve seen happen to the people around you, stuff you’ve read. The only thing I think differentiates one person from the other is what we buy into. Each one of us has our own belief system, but there is a big problem when we try to impose our beliefs on other people, or when we believe everyone else believes the same things we do.
I was having a conversation with someone one day and he said, “Human beings weren’t made to be monogamous.”
That was it. Point blank period. To support his theory he cited examples of his friends who were cheating on their wives. Sorry, I mean he cited the fact that ALL his married friends were cheating on their wives and the women he knew who were cheating on their husbands (we’ll leave the fact that more often than not your friends are most likely going to be people who share the same beliefs as you do as a topic for some other day). His solution to this problem of cheating- at least the solution he lives by, is pretty simple- honest open relationships.
While I agree that whoever doesn’t believe in monogamy should be honest about it to whoever they’re with, I think there is a big problem in stating that human beings weren’t made to be monogamous because the truth is… human beings weren’t made to be anything. What we were made to do however, is think and choose.
A man and a woman can decide based on their belief systems to be with only each other. Another couple that doesn’t share this same belief system can also decide to have an open relationship (whatever they decide the term should mean for them). The common factor should really be honesty. If you’re really not into a certain way of life, don’t be a coward and try to impose that on somebody else who believes they’re in an exclusive relationship with you.
I recently met another person who said he couldn’t be with just one woman till he was married to her- for various reasons, the one that stood out the most however was that she could be cheating on him too. Wouldn’t karma be an angel if this was the case. He also said that if he was honest she wouldn’t take it too well. Well she probably won’t but you have to deal with it…you were supposed to have told her from the beginning and given her the chance to decide if she wanted to go down this road with you or not. By not telling her you’ve robbed her of her power to choose. There are girls that don’t mind you being with somebody else; wouldn’t it be nicer to get with them instead?
Although I’m a Christian, this article isn’t written from a Christian standpoint. This is written from a human standpoint; from the point of view that we should try as human beings to live our lives as thoughtfully as we can and try our very best to not hurt the next person when we’re not the only ones involved in certain situations. We’d also be kidding ourselves if we didn’t agree that when it comes to sex and relationships or situations that aren’t “favourable” to us, a good number of people throw religion out the window. It’s sad and it’s not something I recommend but it’s the truth.
I’m not claiming to have all the answers, I’m not an angel either, but the simple point I’m trying to get across is this-don’t drag someone into anything they haven’t agreed to. Be honest about your lifestyle choices with whoever you’re with. Not down the line or later…from the very beginning.