I’m supposed to be downstairs reading but i’m here licking honey off a knife. 

I’m not happy…not because the honey isn’t awesome or because i don’t like sitting here-none of that. 
I just hate the fact that life does not allow me to just sit on my bed and BE nothing. 
I hate the fact that i’m supposed to get off this bed and read because my exams are in a month and i honestly don’t know anything. 
I hate the fact that nobody asked me if i wanted to be here…nobody took the cue when i was crying on Friday the 13th 1993 to shove me back in my Mummy’s tummy. 
I can’t just BE and eat ice-cream and watch movies. Thanks to whoever created school and all these things. 
I don’t want to read. But i don’t have a choice. And i hate how we’re born without choices. To the smart person who thinks we do…think about it. Doing what you want might be making the wrong choice and the wrong choice has consequences. In my opinion that’s no choice at all. 
For instance, you decide to kill the person that makes your life miserable. This will put you in jail or earn you the death penalty. So in reality, you don’t really have a choice. 
Lol….all this is because i don’t want to read. How did i even get here? Smh.

This is not a poem

I am not a poet.  I have no idea what this is. It’s not a poem. It’s a thing :). I‘ll call a thing a thing when we don’t know what it is. It’s inspired by personal experiences. 

When you don’t really know who you are yet and have all these things you have planned out for yourself. Like learn languages, travel, diet, do yoga, be awesome. Then that person comes along and your whole journey stops. You forget who you are, where you are, what your name is. (Like those people in the movies after they’ve been abducted by aliens…which is quite sad because they hardly ever have amnesia…they just don’t take time to absorb their surroundings. whenever you’re abducted by aliens just shut up and look around. you’ll figure out soon enough). 

This is a reminder to myself and anyone who understands.

He will leave you… 
Leave your smile 
Leave every bit of  “us” behind 

He will call another your name 
And look at her just the same 

He will leave the him you knew 
He will leave you wondering where he went 

He’ll evolve into someone better or worse 
He might miss you or leave the memories of you cursed 

When he does… 
You’ll be forced to stare at you again 

At your imperfections, your thoughts, your essence
Left with the you you hated 

After the clouds are taken away…you’ll be forced to look…at you

At the demon or angel you created 

At your self love or self hatred 

At places untravelled, things unlearnt, broken pieces…

He will leave you 

And you and you will be together again. 

Ready, Set, Blog?

I’ve tried and tried to write a blog post, but nothing seems right to me. 

Either i’m sounding too sad, I can’t finish a story or I don’t sound smart enough (for myself I mean…like how sad does that sound… I guess nobody  starts a blog with the hope of sounding like a dumb blonde).

So i decided not to bother about sounding smart or finishing stuff and just blog.  

The title of this blog should be more interesting but these days thinking gets to me. I don’t like to think. This flaw affects almost every part of my life. Anything or anyone that makes me think is evil and no matter how much said person or thing is loved, the universe finds a way of ejecting such from my life. 

For someone that hates thinking so much i do a lot of it, and even when the subject matter has been removed, I still think. 

I was talking about the title? Yeah i think you get it now.