Drawing from my personal experiences, these are a couple of things that happen when you’re in a negative headspace:
You attract the wrong things
The wrong relationships, the wrong jobs, the wrong people. You most likely will see yourself as less than who you are and believe me, people can sense that and take advantage of it. Just because they can, and just because they’re human.
People see and treat you the same way you see and treat yourself
I got into an argument with a person I know recently and during the argument, the person said some really vile things. Luckily, I was in a place where I was paying very intense attention to my negative thought patterns and behaviours so one thing about the incident really stood out for me; the person was simply mirroring all the vile and negative things I thought about myself.
I’m currently on day 5 of the miracle morning challenge. A challenge I started to help me with discipline. This year, I’ve been working really hard on myself; trying to undo negative thought patterns and years of conditioning.
The focus this year is basically unlearning and relearning how to change myself by changing my mindset.
The problem is at the beginning of my quest for a better version of myself , although I could feel I was on to something, I got stuck in the rut of watching youtube videos and reading motivational posts but neglected to practice what I’d been spending so much time watching and reading about.
There’s a book I read at the beginning of the year that I have to admit didn’t do much for me…but one thing I learnt from it is how we are responsible for our own lives and though it may be someone else’s fault that we end up wherever we are, in the end, we’re responsible for whatever we make of any situation, and in the grand scheme of things, our lives.
Medium is a nice place to spend some of your free time. I found myself signing up to get updates on my favourite topic at the time- Self-Help. It helped at that point; the point where I found myself trying to claw my way out of something I couldn’t really define. I thought I needed posts and books from no-nonsense authors to tell me to get off my lazy ass and do something, to help me find confidence and purpose. The posts helped for two minutes then I’d be back in a mental rut. After some time I got fed up of reading certain things; and it didn’t help that medium started sending me daily newsletters on the kind of self help I’d never even have read if someone put a gun to my head.